


Day 1: The Evil Christmas Tree

by geemrmiranda



Series: 12 Days of Voltron Trash [1]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 12 days of voltron trash, Christmas, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Tree, Gen, Langst, Light Angst, Parody, Swearing, christmas on the castle, evil alien christmas tree, keith hates christmas, team voltron vs tree, their greatest battle yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-13
Updated: 2017-12-13
Packaged: 2019-02-14 07:02:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13002411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geemrmiranda/pseuds/geemrmiranda
Summary: All Lance wanted was a traditional Christmas tree, but getting one from an alien planet can lead to consequences. Like, it could be alive. And evil.





	Day 1: The Evil Christmas Tree

“Enough is enough, this has become a serious problem”, said Allura.   
The paladins were all gathered in the dining room, looking tense. Well, almost all the paladins. Pidge was missing. Again.  
Lately, Pidge had taken to missing meals and skipping group training sessions, muttering that she was busy and looking very upset.  
It had been understandable for a while, everyone struggled sometimes after all, but as Allura said, enough was enough.  
“What should we do then?”, asked Hunk, “I mean, it’s not like we can drag her here. Can we drag her out here? I feel like we cannot just drag her out here”.   
“Just leave it to me”, said Lance.   
“Lance this is serious”, complained Allura, who felt a headache coming up.   
“Trust me”, said Lance, “I’ll just go talk to her and everything will be fine again.” With that said, Lance left the dining hall to look for Pidge. It didn’t take long for him to reach her room.  
Lance knocked on the door. “Hey Pidge”, said Lance, “are you in there?”   
“Go away!”, was the answer.  
Naturally, Lance took that as his cue to go inside. Pidge was huddled under several blankets, looking very depressed.  
“Are you... alright?”, asked Lance, whist balancing carefully through the tightly cluttered room to get to Pidge.   
“......” Pidge continued staring at the screen in front of her like she was hypnotized. When Lance finally reached her he glanced over, wondering what had shook the green paladin so much. On the screen was a date. Knowing what Lance was probably about to ask, Pidge answered, “I wanted to see what time it was back on earth, to measure how long we’ve been... gone.”   
December.  
They had been gone a while, Lance knew that, but time had seemed to fly when they were exploring space, fighting Zarkon and saving the universe. Time had certainly flown more than he had thought.   
December.   
That meant it was almost Christmas.   
What would his family think? Christmas was a time when they all came together. But now he was stuck here in space. Without any way to contact them. Suddenly Lance understood why Pidge had seemed so depressed. Hell, he felt like curling up in some blankets and missing training himself. But he had come her for one thing, to cheer Pidge up and get her to join the group again.   
“My family always bought a tree extra early”, said Pidge gloomily, “we would decorate it on the fourth of December even.”   
“Ha!”, said Lance, “my family always already had a tree back in November.”  
Pidge smiled a bit at that, “it’s not a competition, idiot.”   
“If it was then I would’ve won”, said Lance, smirking. Getting more serious he continued: “It’s alright to miss your family, I do too and it hurts. It hurts a lot. But we’re your family too now and we’ve missed you.”   
Pidge did smile at that. “You’re right, you guys are my family too.”  
“Would you mind repeating that?”, asked Lance.   
“That we’re family?”, asked Pidge confused.   
“No that I’m right”, said Lance. Pidge laughed at that. Score. Lance suddenly had a great idea. “Let’s still celebrate Christmas this year”, he said enthusiastically, “we can decorate the castle and buy each other gifts at space mall!”   
“I don’t know”, said Pidge. “Here? In space?”   
“It would be great fun!”, said Lance, “come on Pidge, you would love it too.”   
“We’ll need a tree”, said Pidge, going along with Lance’s idea, “a big one.”   
“A big one”, Lance agreed, “let’s ask Allura where we can get one.”

“Christmas tree?", Allura asked in wonder.  
Lance and Pidge had been explaining Christmas to Allura and Coran and had quickly discovered that there was a similar Altean tradition of gift giving and celebration; however, this only took place every 25 deca-phoebs but then lasted for about an entire earth year. ("An entire year of Christmas!", Matt had exclaimed. "That's the dream, my dudes, that's the dream.")  
Traditions such as Christmas trees were however entirely unknown to the Alteans. "It's this thing we do during Christmas back home", Lance explained. "We put up a fir tree in the house and decorate it with lights and ornaments."  
"But what's the point of that?", asked Allura.  
"Weeeell, I'm not entirely sure", Lance mumbled, unaware about the origins of this tradition. "But it looks nice. And we put all the gifts underneath the tree and stuff. I don't know, that's just how it's done." He shrugged.  
"Well", said Allura smiling, "If this tradition is of such importance to you, I'd be happy to help you organize something. Coran, do you have any idea where we could find the proper trees for this in our proximity?"  
"We're pretty far away from most places", explained Coran, scanning multiple screens in front of him. "But there does seem to be a small planet close by; one of the lions could probably get there in about 40 doboshes. Scans show rich vegetation."  
"Razzle-dazzle!", shouted Lance. "I volunteer to find us the perfect Christmas tree!"

And he did.  
Mind you, it wasn’t on the first planet they searched. There were a LOT of trees there, everywhere you could see really, but no fir trees at all. So they tried to search on a second planet. And a third. By the time they had searched 27 planets everyone honestly felt like giving up. But they didn’t. Finally, on planet 32 they found a big beautiful fir. It stood proud and tall in the middle of a clearing. Lance had been careful to take all of the tree with him, the roots included, so that they could replant it afterwards. The environment was important after all.   
The whole team had been ecstatic when they finally saw the tree standing in their living room. Then they had immediately proceeded to decorate the tree. Because they had no real decorations, the team just went with what they had. Hunk put cookies on the tree; they had holes in the middle so they fit perfectly around the branches. Keith and Shiro had made popcorn strings they circled around the tree. Pidge used her CD’s to put on the rest of the branches. And Lance threw a lot of glitter over everything, because who goes to space without bringing an obscene amount of glitter anyway. Allura and Coran watched and clapped at the group, as excited as they were. That night they celebrated around the tree, drinking hot milk and eating some of the leftover cookies.  
But then, when they fell asleep, it all went wrong.

Keith was awoken by strange noises outside his room. At first he thought it was Coran sleepwalking again (ever since the incident with the brain worm he's had some issues with that), but one of the noises was a strange loud rustling sound that couldn't possibly have come from Coran unless he was dressed in a Hawaiian Hula skirt (which to be fair probably wouldn't be the weirdest thing Coran has ever done, but I digress). Keith decided to get out of bed and find out what was going on. He instinctively took his Marmora blade with him. Once he opened his door, he started wondering whether he was perhaps sleepwalking himself, for what he saw could not possibly be happening.  
Casually strolling through the hallway, decorations and all, was the Christmas tree. Its stump had taken the shape of two gnarly legs and out of its thick fir coat stuck out two long spiny arms. It made its way through the corridor, loudly rustling and bustling and leaving behind a trail of fir needles.  
Keith blinked a few times and pinched himself to make sure he was awake. Once certain, he raised his blade up and shouted: "Hey! You! Umm... tree!" The tree immediately stopped and turned around with some difficulty in the narrow hallway. Keith took a sharp breath. On what must be the front side of the tree were a pair of gleaming red eyes full of evil intentions. Keith groaned. Why did everything in this universe have to be evil? He decided it was time to wake the others. "HEY!", he yelled. "Everyone get up! We have a prob-"  
He was cut off when the tree suddenly raised several of it's branches, started spinning around itself at an impressive speed and shot a hail of needles aimed directly at Keith.  
"Holy crap!" Thanks to his training he immediately ducked away from the attack, but couldn't avoid being hit by a few needles. He was shocked at how sharp and penetrating they were. "Fuck!", he cried. "I HATE Christmas!" He got back on his feet only to find that the tree had scurried away, but not without leaving behind a visible trail.  
"What's going on?", asked Shiro. Him and the others had finally woken and joined Keith outside.  
"What's all this?", asked Lance, who noticed the floor covered in needles. "Is this from... Keith, did you destroy our Christmas tree??"  
"NO! It tried to destroy me!"  
The others gave him strange looks. Coran leaned over to Allura and whispered: "He's really lost it this time."  
Allura rolled her eyes. "You're one to talk. Keith, what happened?"  
"Just follow me", he said, and started following the tree's trail on the floor.  
The group followed the trail hurriedly, until they came to the observation deck. There, in the middle of the room stood the tree, back to normal as if there was nothing evil about it.   
“How did the tree get there?”, asked Pidge.   
“I bet it was Keith”, said Lance, squinting his eyes suspiciously at Keith.   
“I didn’t move the stupid tree”, said Keith, “It walked. It’s alive and it’s evil.”   
“Are you sure you weren’t having a bad dream?”, asked Allura, looking concerned.   
“Maybe you’ve been sleepwalking?”, suggested Coran. “I had a cousin once who-“ But Coran couldn’t finish that sentence. It seemed that the tree had been acting innocent waiting until they were all distracted before firing needles at the group.  
“What the hell?!”, screamed Lance.   
“Why is this happening?”, wailed Hunk.  
They drew their bayards. It was them versus the tree. That had suddenly began to laugh a deep, bone-chilling laugh. It REALLY was evil. Everyone backed away. Everyone except Lance. He bravely stood in front of the evil tree.   
"Enough!", he cried. "All I wanted was to have a nice Christmas with a nice tree cause that's how it was at home and I really really miss home and my family and I am D-O-N-E (and he snapped his finger in a Z-formation) with your evil bullshit!" And with that he aimed his gun right in the centre of the tree and fired.  
The tree fell back, roaring. Its branches shot out to grab Lance, but Keith had already come to the rescue, cutting the branches clean off. The tree got up and tried to tackle Keith, but Keith and Lance both tackled it to the ground.   
“Hold it down!”, yelled Shiro, as he straddled the tree to punch it repeatedly with his mechanical arm. The tree went limp, maybe being unconscious, maybe destroyed, but the team wasn’t taking any chances.   
“What now?”, asked Hunk nervously.  
“I vote we eject this biatch into space”, said Lance.   
“No”, said Pidge, “evil or not, we can’t just kill it.”  
So the team decided to dump the tree back where it came from. Afterwards, they all sat together in their living room. Pidge started to laugh hysterically. “I can’t believe it”, she said. “I just can’t.” Her laughter was infectious, and soon the whole team was laughing their ass off. “Maybe this wasn’t such a bad Christmas after all.”


End file.
